Tag Archives: reminisce

Long Overdue

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So, another poetry night in our town just passed by. The night had a lot of feels. So much feels! It didn’t help that the theme was “Beginnings and Endings”. Well anyway, here’s a poem I performed that night with a friend. I actually wrote this immediately after a long overdue conversation I had with a long time friend.

 

To make it clear, two people performed this; yours truly and Dennis (thanks for obliging to performing it with me. I know it was sooooo last minute but we made it work. hehe) Dennis read the italicized ones and we read the bold ones together. I bit different form the performed one.

 

Here it goes.

 

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When you

– the boy who was your coffee buddy down at Dunkin Donuts ‘til the break of dawn, who checked on you whenever you went home late, who treated you out for cinnamon rolls just coz you were craving for them and I only had ten bucks in my pocket, who was your pseudo-bodyguard when you walk the city streets at night, who played the guitar just to hear you sing, who wrote you the first handwritten letter you’ve ever gotten from a non-relative human male life form –

 Told me my beauty –

  is gentle yet fierce

 My hair –

  mimics the waves of the sea

 My name –

  rhymes with “hi”

 And said –

  “My world stops when you laugh.”

 I laughed. How could I have missed that?

  I laughed. Coz when I offered you forever, you gladly kicked your shoes and ran with me on the beach barefoot.

We kicked the sand ‘til they kissed the waves–

  I laughed.

We laughed. We were two parts of the soul. Two sides of the same coin.

I was the warm to your cool

the yin to your yang

the wild to your calm

the peace to your chaos

the light to your dark

I laughed. You said you’d name our children Luke and Leia.

  But you begged me no. So we made a deal.

No juniors. No mixing our names together. No geekdom references.

  But fortune never smiles on people who say “No”.

 Let’s just hold off on our nerdazzle, shall we?

Okay, deal.

 There’s always something sad in piers and airports.

They always have someone leaving; always have someone get left behind.

But, we made it work.

 I wake up, grab my phone and tell you good morning.

  Come high noon, I tell you I’m in a meeting.

Good morning! How are you? Fine, you? Good! Are you in a meeting? Yes, gotta go. Okay, take care. God bless. God bless. – (repeat thrice)

 Where are you?

  Overtime.

 Where are you?

  Work.

 Where are you?

  With friends from work.

 Where are you?

  Night out.  Where are you?

 I’m right here. I was always right behind you. Ready to give you a hand, an arm, a shoulder, an eye, an ear, my pieces, my soul. Me.

  But you couldn’t.

–Where are you? –

 I’m right here.

  I was in the concrete jungle.

 I’m right here.

  I was making ends meet.

 I’m right here.

  I was lonely.

 I’m right here.

Where are you?

I’m right here.

Not with you

  I jumped from one dream to another.

 While I scrambled my way to catch up to you. I only had one plan.

  I had a grand plan but not

To be with you.

  But I offered you forever.

 I offered you me.

I’m sorry.

Even if we burned bridges, we could always find a way to zip line through the ridges

I could still retrieve it through the recesses of my mind.

[# here is a constant mobile number being said again and again by Dennis]

 I could still recite it (#) like an empty prayer.

 My lips (#) stored it in its muscle memory.

 Amazing (#), isn’t it? (#)

 (#)

 The number you have dialed is either invalid or not in use.

I laughed when I found out her beauty –

  is gentle yet fierce

  her hair –

  mimics the waves of the sea

  her name –

  rhymes with “hi”

Sometimes I hold my breath, close my eyes and see

The time I held your hand, the time we kicked the sand, the time we tanned and the time we planned

I kept them in my hand and willed myself to go back.

But we couldn’t.

I can only see our memories like a movie reel before me.

Cut. Edited. Pristine.

This time we have both our lives ahead of us. Time to let go. Got to move on. Keep moving forward. Look back once in a while. But never stop moving forward.

 

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Next #cdopoetrynight soon!

 

Peace out!

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Ships

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This isn’t one of my flash fictions but it’s one of my loved pieces. I wrote it when I was on the ship for Cebu.

 

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            “Siguraduhin mong may susundo sa’yo dun.”

                        Make sure someone fetches you there.

            “Opo. Naa naman koy nakasabut, Dad.”

                        Yes. Already contacted someone, Dad.

 

            I lied. Who would? The HR Rep? Nope. That snooty Napoleonic bastard was too proud to even shake my hand when he interviewed me. The plan was; I would go off the ship, get out of the port, hail a cab, and go straight to the hotel where the company already booked me.

 

            My dad was always a worrywart when it came to promptness. So at, I kid you not, seventeen hundred hours, I was already in the boarding area of the pier with my things fully scanned and my body done being molested by the lady who sure was a lesbian. Departure was at twenty hundred hours.

 

            18:00 hours.

            One trolley, one dufffel bag, one handbag, and a box full of seafood canned goods and a mini rice cooker; that was all I carried with me. I hired a porter to carry all of it. That costed at least a hundred pesos. I tipped the guy with a twenty.

 

            19:43 hours.

            A thick-browed tall moreno guy carrying a mountaineer’s back-pack occupied the bottom bunk  adjacent mine. He had this huge pastel-colored shoulder bag. Something whimpered in it. He looked at me. I looked at him back. Then, he looked at his shoulder bag.

 

            “Be quiet, Fifi.”, he said in a hushed tone.

            “How original.”, I said in a hushed tone.

 

            He tried to retort but Fifi barked and squirmed inside the bag. He unzipped the bag and lo and behold; Fifi was a  pekingese. He fed the bitch with dried goodies but she was still agitated.

 

            I left and bought a bottle of water at the snack bar.  I didn’t want to go back immediately so I took a few swigs at it at the top deck.

 

            I couldn’t play any intrument at all. I sing. I’m a classically trained opera singer but I never took advantage of it. Started singing when I was in fifth grade. Manang Celly, an old woman in our neighborhood, took pity on me and taught me. She said I remind her of herself when she was young. She was alone; wasn’t married or had any children. She is dead. 

 

            The air was too chilly so I went back. That bitch still annoyed me.  

 

            “Maybe she’s thirsty.” I offered my half-empty water bottle to Fifi. She refused.

 

            The guy said nothing. He squished himself inside the bunk and sighed; a form of surrender. I left him with his thoughts.

 

            20:16 hours.

           

            1 New Message

            Alex

            I’m sorry.

 

            Asshole. We were together for four months but said asshole was too stubborn to admit the last month just wasn’t working. He even blamed himself for me leaving. How pathetic.

 

            Pakikipagsapalaran. Mom’s favorite word. The waves were invading my thoughts. Apparently, musings do have ambient  music. Mom always told me it meant challenging fate. Was this me challenging fate?

 

            I went back to my bunk and slept.

 

            00:53 hours.

 

            That whining little bitch was at it again. I turned over to silence that damned abomination but I was wrong. Fifi wasn’t whimpering. Her owner was. Binangungot. I woke him up and offered him my half empty water bottle. This time, he took it.

 

            “Good thing she’s still asleep.”, he said.

            “Yeah, or I would’ve killed that Satanic incarnation.”, I said.

            He was about to lie down when I said, “Why the fuck would you put that poor dog in there?”

            “I don’t want to pay for that stupid bitch anymore.”, he said.

 

            I couldn’t get back to sleep.

 

            01:26 hours.

 

            I have a band. Well right now, it’s more appropriate to say I had a band. It was a long time ago. At first, it was great. Every night was another adventure; another opportunity to explore the city. Thoughts became lyrics that turn into songs. Hums became melodies, rhythms, and beats. Each of us was into different genres. I was the one into jazz.

 

            Why did I leave them?

 

            Mom was about to be promoted for a deanship in a prestigious school in the city. But, the proverbial institutional politics happened. She moved to Manila and returned to UP for her Doctorate. Dad is retired; living out his pension.

 

            Why did I leave them?

 

            I got offered a job in one of Cebu’s topnotch recording labels. Not as a recording artist, though. I’ll be the one-scouting-for-fresh-talents and dipping-my-hands-into-dirty-old-monkey-business for them. As what that Napoleonic bastard told me, I have a knack for fishing good talents. Talents. That narcissistic dimwit can’t even say artists.

 

            05:30 hours.

 

            Good morning, thank you for….. passengers…. We are currently…. pleased to inform you…docking the ports of Cebu…. In behalf of all the staff… this ship, I welcome you all to the Queen City of the South.

 

            Attention all tourist passengers…… claim ID’s and return beddings at the counter. Thank you…. Enjoy your… Thank you.

 

            “Let me guess, you crossed the sea just so you could give that little mutt to her owner. Please tell me I’m wrong.”

            “How the hell did you know?”

            “ You should just get rid of it.”

 

            06:47 hours.

 

            He was everywhere. Alfred. Alfi. Fifi. My Fifi. He was my Fifi. He still haunts me.

 

            On the corner just outside the pier gates, I was trying to hail a cab when every one of them was already filled. Then, this one cab stopped and popped open the door in front of me. My pepper spray was ready. I peered in and saw him. He already made space for me.

 

            “Good for you.”, I said and sat beside him. He smiled.

            “Radisson….”, I told the cabdriver.

            “Blu. Radisson Blu.”, he said.

 

                                                                                      Fin